Sup reader!

Here i am back to where i can be. Feel like a jailed bird totally but what to do? Life isn't fair.

Life seems to be a show, a movie that nobody will ever know what gonna happen next yet somebody act in a show which means they act up every

I finished scribbling at;1:48 AM

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Guess who's in da house today? Certainly not that fat ass tho~

  Shall leave my name unknown, but I'm here to thank him for TRYING to be there for me and TRYING to cheer me up whenever I'm down (and not surprisingly, he has failed tremendously). He's fat and lazy, which sorta makes him difficult to move (kinda exaggerated but maybe its true) , but I appreciated the fact that he often come all the way to my house area just to meet me up and stuff. *inserts big bear hug* It's really nice having you around and stuff, but at the same time do cut down on your nonsense and stop bullying me! >.< Lastly, I love you~ *muacks--- sloppy wet kiss*

Bye readers!

(No idea why I'm saying this as I'm probably the only reader of this pathetic blog,

its like saying 'bye' to myself lol)

I finished scribbling at;8:09 AM

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Hey my beloved readers,

Seems like i am busy but i;m just plan lazy as life really screwed me out totally and i don't wish to talk about it as it is always the same old shit that happen.

So let me ask you guys readers, how would you feel when you are currently with someone you like yet that person can't stop mentioning about his/her ex? It seems like that person's world is still revolving around the ex then why bother being with a new guy/girl when they said they still can't get over their ex.

Hmmm.... how many people actually feel that they are slapping themselves with their own hand? Ha... maybe  when 2 persons isn't suitable for each other, no point trying so hard. Problem will surely rise from somewhere. And worse thing when the problem lies in them yet they still blame you.

Sometimes people are just so contradicting. Say something yet meant the other. Oh well, why should we even let some that hurt us carry such a important weight in our heart and let them hurt us again and again?

It is kinda stupid when people like me mentioning those stuff that i hate yet she still can't stop doing it. So what is the point of me forgiving you every time? Are you even worth it? But sadly i forgive yet i don't forget.

Truthfully, up till now, you still haven't earn my trust and faith after losing it totally. All you did is letting me feel disappointed and screwing with my mind over and over again but this time i made a decision, i'm leaving for good unless i see some changes.

Only people that could handle me have the right to ask me to be real and to deserve my every inch. Talks but no action is what i totally see in you. Don't ever say you are tired cause when you are tired, i am dead beat.

Readers, let me ask you a question alright?

How would you felt if the min you are awake yet you doesn't see anything from your love one yet the min you see his/her twitter, it's all about his/her ex?

What would you feel if you have been the one going find your love one for the past 1 year yet she come over to find you is less then 5 times?

How would you feel when she ask you not to control her yet all she want is to control you to the extend to even threaten you?

Letting the same person to hurt you only make yourself look stupid and dumb yet i'm that bimbo.

I finished scribbling at;7:14 AM

Hey my beloved readers

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It's all about you It's all about you, baby It's all about you It's all about you Yesterday, you asked me something I thought you knew. So I told you with a smile 'It's all about you' Then you whispered in my ear and you told me to, Say 'If you make my life worthwhile, it's all about you' And I would answer all you're wishes, if you asked me to. But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know what I'd do. So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do. Dancing on the kitchen tiles, it's all about you. Yeah... And I would answer all you're wishes, if you asked me to. But if you deny me one of your kisses, don't know what I'd do. So hold me close and say three words, like you used to do. Dancing on the kitchen tiles, Yes you make my life worthwhile, So I told you with a smile... It's all about you. It's all about you It's all about you, baby It's all about you It's all about you

-Mcfly - All About You 

I finished scribbling at;2:25 PM

Sometimes i just wish that i'm gone.

Life have been such a bitch and all i could do is grab my fist tight and move on. There isn't much people that will be there to help you when you don't even want to help yourself. I wouldn't mind dying if there isn't any pain.

I hate it when people is physically with me while her mind is thinking about other stuff or their heart is with another person. What is the point of having you when your heart isn't with me? And what is the point of me being there when you don't even want to share a thing with me? Its like you are so close to me yet it feel damn far.

I feel damn useless seriously as there isn't anything i can help with. I am tired of thinking when you will leave me. Any idea how does it feel when you are the one feeling insecure or when i'm always talking to other girls or something? I don't wanna play any game with you anymore but sometimes, your action just shows that you are still not ready for the real thing.

I hate myself for trying to put such a front. Obviously i hate it when you go messaging or chatting with your guys yet i still can't show it or else people will like 'Wa, this guy so xiao qi' I can't even be the real me. Maybe trust is hard to earn when you break it. I might forgive you but doesn't mean i will forget about it.

I don't like it when you go all emotional due to others or trying to show off that a lot of guys is chasing you and you could play them around. Sometimes its not people is stupid so that you can juggle them around but it's like they allow you do. It is the same logic as when people act like they don't know what is going but that doesn't mean they don't know what is going on.

Its kinda shocking when i saw 1 of my friend at suntec earlier and she is like ' hi, i heard you are with her. so are you 2 together?' And obviously i will be like it is complicated and bla bla bla and she still can tell me that she heard alot of stuff about us. I wonder how does our things spread that far across singapore. Well, somebody must be spreading bad stuff to the extend that she ask me to let go if you ever hurt me again. If things is that simple, i wouldn't even be struggling.

Sometimes, i really wonder what i am to you. I know you are playful but i guess it's time for you to settle down. If you still can't forget about your ex den lets stay as friend. Can't imagine my girl tweet about his ex, saving his picture as wall paper and keeping a picture of another guy in the wallet. Seriously, i feel like a fool, a hopeless fool. Looking at you missing your ex and getting emotional which somehow screwed up my mood and make me think that i'm nothing/unimportant to you yet still have to act ok and try to cheer you up.

If i have to feel this hurt just to grow up den make it a fast process or my heart might turn into a stone sooner or later. Nobody could understand me when i can't even understand myself.

Oh well, hopefully after ranting so much i might feel better. The night always seems like it is the harder period for me to been through. Goodnight people. I guess there wouldn't even if much reader as well.

I finished scribbling at;2:21 PM

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Oh well, im here to blog once again.

Went to suntec to fetch a fat girl from work earlier yet all i saw is those no name guys buzzing around. Such a
turn off serious to the extend that i tell myself not to do the same silly things if i'm not being appreciated. Its suppose to be a surprise yet i totally can't feel that she is being surprised at all. Guess she had too much guys to even bother about me? Ha! What a jealousy guy i am right? suck to be me seriously. Almost went home straight and don't want to talk to her anymore but oh well, which guy can do that to the person they love so i ended up talking to her after trying to ignore her for awhile. Who go work wearing a high heels? She must be mad or something but i just can't stop loving her. 

Hmmmm.....I think virgo really tend to think a lot especially when the night fall plus there is nothing to do and your mind will be like going wild thinking about all those stupid and silly stuff. well, there won't be smoke with fire so i guess must be some action which led me to this type of thinking. Its really not a good thing as you are mindfucking yourself.

hmmmm.... let me share a picture with you guys. A picture that i edited to the extend that it brought out my feelings.

Come on, lets have a picture discussion. what can you guys talk about this picture?

For me, this picture bring out my feelings and the way i edited it so that it represent what i'm thinking at the point of time. Wanna know why i make it so dark? Well, let me begin.

What i'm feeling at the point of time is that why is this world so unfair. Is it so hard to be with someone i love? Those heartbroken stuff behind a romance, behind a person, who will ever know it? But be it how heartbroken i am, i still try. I don't believe in impossible. i tend to turn every impossible stuff into I-M-POSSIBLE. Even if it is stain with darkness which doesn't allow us to know what will happen in the future , even if shit always happen, even if we always quarrel, would you be mine and continue walking down this road with me, holding our hand tightly so that nobody could separate us apart. Are you willing to take up this challenge?

This picture bring back my memories on what happen during the valentine's day this year. I thought i could bought 1 of these flower and give you in person, telling you all this but a small little act of yours make me feeling damn screwed and totally don't wanna tell you anything or even meet you. If i were to upload this picture and tag you, will you remove tag again? Are you up to the challenge to tame this little beast with such a fucked up temper and attitude or are you to said the same things again and ask me to wait again? 

I finished scribbling at;1:36 PM

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Updated my blog's song for those awesome readers like you. oh well, birthday is over so i'm here to reflect on what on earth is going on with me for the past 19 years. oh man! i feel so old! :((. 

Life is kinda shitty but no matter what life still goes on isn't it? we can't control our life but we could prevent tragedy from happening isn't it? everybody had a choice of what they want to do about their life its just depends on their mindset seeing how they would handle when they are in such situation. Nobody could help them if they don't want to help themselves isn't it?  

Saw this phrase somewhere but i cant remember exactly where which i feel that it's true as it totally bring out how i feel. Let me share the phrase with you guys, the phrase goes like this 'The greater the love, the greater the tragedy when it's over'. Well, i felt that i'm so much being loved by my girl and i let myself fall into the hand of heartache, and fair enough, my life is worse then ever after she left as i totally lost the meaning and my aim in life.  I guess she is the first few girls that i could obeyed and listened to given my rebellious and stubborn character, my motivation to study hard in order to achieve success for our future.

I thought that time can heal everything but i was wrong. Time changed me into a guy that i hated. Ever wonder how could someone hate himself or something? oh well, let me tell you the feeling is shit and you will feel like killing yourself yet you are to afraid to die and all i could do is numbing myself with alcohol and party my life away to the extend that i flunk my 'O' Level .

Well, been having weird dreams lately which make me felt like living in those dream and never to wake up. Been living in regrets but all i could do is to accept the facts that she is gone, That doesn't seems to be a bad idea as i know it is finally time to move on to the second part of my life since i encounter someone that is awesome. i know i will still miss her but i'm no longer loving her. 

I wonder if i made another right choice this time round. I'm so afraid to fall hard once again but i just can't help it but to love you every minutes even when you pissed me off. But just somehow you never once pleased me after each time you screw around with my mood. A part of me just think that i shouldn't let such a small things affected us but a part of me like, hey! i'm a guy, why do i have to endure with your attitude. oh well, maybe i should said guy's pride killed! 

Despite facing shit you gave me in the past, despite pushing you away, i ended up holding your hand once again and after listening to wadever you said when we are quarreling, i hope this time we could really end up together. i know that its not easy to last but easy stuff wont have much value isn't it. Despite you have such a long history and etc, i don't mind if you really wanna change to be a better person. when i said i love you, i really do. What i really hate is whenever you thought of your EXs it just let me felt that i'm completely nothing compared to them. Oh well, lets create an awesome future will you? 


Oh man! first time wrote such a long post. wonder if there is an vocab or grammar mistake. gonna end off with some awesome picture and maybe a Favorite song of mine.

    



















BITCH! What a gangbang! 

Culprit that build their happiness on my misery and they are fucking awesome so dont you dare to bully them! OH MAN! A shorty went missing? 

and never to forget my love. such a cute couple isn't it? 'BHB'. Times with you had its own up down moment but i just hope you will be there as always.

Even if you are gone but those memories that we created is still hidden deep down at the back of my mind

I finished scribbling at;11:21 AM

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life screw up

feeling like shit

but all i want is everything

to be over soon

and all this feeling come 

when i spend the whole day at my blog

now i know how ppl will feel when they visit my blog

i miss those hugs

those days we spend our days tgt

those times when we go mushy mushy

suddenly got this feeling back ytd

i wonder if its good or bad

i really dont wanna miss a thing,

dont wanna miss anything with you

I finished scribbling at;3:09 AM

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While you're far away and dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Where every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And I'm wondering what you're dreaming
Wondering if it's me you're seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God we're together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever

I don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing

I don't want to miss one smile
I don't want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time Yeah yeah yeah

I don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing

I Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
Cause I'd miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
I'd still miss you babe
And I don't want to miss a thing

Don't want to close my eyes
I don't want to fall asleep
And I don't want to miss a thing




-Aerosmith I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing Lyrics

I finished scribbling at;3:03 AM

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What's with people nowadays seriously?
Talking to people they know means kio their Sai?
Telling you it's impossible means I still got feeling for the last girl?
Gonna end up in IMH if these goes on seriously!
Don't wanna answer that question of your doesn't mean you can anyhow make up an answer for me right. Can't you fucking feel that I'm just feeling awkward to answer that question of yours cause my answer is you. Are you that dumb or something!
Lucky I have a blog for me to relieve my stress!
Don't understand why I'm looking forward to go out with you today,
Guess I'm just not enough of sleep and something is wrong with my mind.
Pushing you away for so long,
No way I'm gonna let you come back.
Can't afford to be hurt any longer.
Just stay at the friends area will do.
Guess its the side effect of hearing your voice!
I knew it something weird will happened of I heard your voice!
Fucking pissed I swear!
Guess all I could say is you don't know me still.
Feeling fucking better!
Lucky iPhone can update blog as well!

I finished scribbling at;1:54 AM

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WOW!
I realize i cant really blog
From my past experience,
all my blog die halfway.
So somehow i wonder if anybody still viewing my blog
HAHAHA! but its okay anyway
i dont really need a reader
just wanna vent everything out only


hmmm.... So!
was not in the mood lately as i came across her fb profile lately
idk why had she unblock me
seeing her pic remind me of everything
and i can spend all day just by looking at her profile dp
waiting for her to accept my friend request
why would i even let her go
when i know she carry such a important place
in my heart.
feeling damn dumb
living in regrets for so long

was being sort of sociable lately
which others might say its flirt
but to me, im just being sociable
after being hurt for so many times
i no longer know what is the diff
between love,likes and interest
being sweet to most girls lately
but if they catch the wrong idea
i guess its not my fault?
im just being friendly
and some others still said i could be hot or cold at times
mayb due to my mood?
idk. ;D

RECEIVE A BEST MISSION YTD!
FUCKING MISSION IMPOSSIBLE
YET THE PERSON BREAK THE WORD IMPOSSIBLE UP
TO IM-POSSIBLE

and lastly before i end off.
i shall share with ppl whats with my sudden updating
hahaha! i got myself a mission like in a 8hours ago
which is to find out about someone blog's url
but somehow, google failed me
well, been controlling and keeping a distance with her
been calling her 'just another girl' hope she will back off or smth
i guess for the past 1 year, im only good at pissing her
wishing she will nvr come back anymore.
i dont wanna lose control
guess absence is the only way out.
was being moody afew days ago and i come across her tweet
she is such a smart ass
always called me BB which i still dk is buibui or baby :/
and now, idk if she is talking to me or some other guy
all along, i know im smth to her but just that its not that smth i want
i want more! this is how greedy i am. hahaha! either all or nth so i have nth now. :D
smth that i wanna tell her long ago.
smth that she always complain but i nvr once explain
i guess she think that i nvr once loved her but she is wrong
i did madly loved her just that her action turn me off
which i did the something to turn her off as well
thats why we always quarrel
missing my ex doesnt mean i love her as its in the past
but being with you mean i love you as its in the present.
guess pride did give me some problems but its a thing i can nvr live without
guess she had been moody lately as well
i rmb saying i will be thr for her when she need me
but idk if there is how many guys that told her this
so instead of comforting her and be her listening ear,
i stayed away just in case she need the others rather den me
standing from far just to check if she is alright
sry, not that im not there when you need me,
just that im faraway for you to even notice.
and i was wondering why everybody got a same question in mind
which is what do i see in her, why do i like her
But ever ask yourself why do you love someone?
if its smth you can explain, its isnt love.
feeling isnt smth you could control.
oh yeah! having bike prac tmr.
gonna end off le.
hope nobody see this post
especially her.
forever so playful
trying to be strong
and doesnt want anybody to know she is weak
de vgww. hahaha!
Goodnite ppl! :D

I finished scribbling at;11:00 AM

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welcome back people

been so long since i last posted

life is the same old shit thats why i stop updating

doubt ppl will be reading this anyway

in life, when a person got out of our life

it means another person is gonna appear

its seems to be a new beginning when everything came to an end. 

been shutting myself out of the real world 

reality is shit

just wanna escape from all those shit

missing someone is definitely is last thing to do in life

heart seems so empty and lonely 

if i could rewind the time

i would rather not experience love

while facing the shit in life

i have to force myself to move on

bits by bits

it make me grown up

yet along the process of growing

i have to face all sort of pain in life

it is so unbearable 

yet there isnt anyone to save me

all i could do is

bite my teeth together and move on

no matter what 

life goes on

somehow i felt that not i have become a heartless person

but i tend to use my heart lesser

 

guess im gonna sign off le

not wanting to bored my reader with my shitty stuff

but provided i got reader in the first place

I finished scribbling at;9:04 PM

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hi! i'm back once again

quarrel with 1 of my close brother today

somehow i'm still angry with him for yesterday

plus the attitude he give me

and i'm just flare

hate people to annoy me when i'm tired or hungry

hate people telling me what to do too

i slept for like less den 3hours plus 

and he want me to work for 12works

it will be okay if i led my lifestyle normally

rejecting him nicely and there goes the attitude 

not the first time or the second

and i still can't forget what happened yesterday

was supposed to slack overnight with those guys

yet almost all last mins play stunt 

in the end walk from serangoon to hougang

accompany shem to look after his mum flower shop

anybody wanna buy flower kindly tell me next time ya! :D

okay. back to topic

so basically went to find him and chat till morning

talk about bikes, NS and studies

planning for the future together

reach home around 9plus?

too hungry to sleep and manage to wait till noon

when it's time for my mum to buy food home

ate and sleep the whole day away

wasted a day just like that

anyway its wayne birthday yesterday

had a bbq for its celebration

kinda fun 

  GroupPhoto

and i know i look like shit here

      and ivan got wasted in the end

guess its time to sign off

Goodnight people                                        

I finished scribbling at;1:06 PM

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It had been sometimes since I updated my blog Problem with me which is lazy to update blog Life had been like shit but sadly, it's still goes on My best buddy cloud is going to be enlist on the coming Tuesday Hope things goes smoothly for him Hmmm... Injured myself lately Nose got swollen and long cuts near my neck Hope I recover earlier Thr is a chalet tmr It's shem's bday chalet Rmb I survive last yr on his chalet Hope this yr I'm not gonna get drunk See you guys real soon ya Don't stay mute!! :)

I finished scribbling at;10:45 AM

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Finally home after a tiring day

Was being hold up by somebody

Finish bathing and stuff

Guess I'm gonna coma after blogging

Went to your blog before posting mine

Guess you gonna see this like you guess I'm gonna see yours

Know that you had been stalking me

Yet I choose to put some obvious stuff for you to see

I know you had tried while I tried even harder

But we just doesn't match for each other

Mayb I should say Aries and Virgo doesn't match

I tried to keep a distance so that when I'm gone

You won't feel anything

Mayb it's better this way

Just let it be the rain before sunshine

Let it be a pain process that come with a happy outcome

Sry for being stubborn to think that you would change

I ask you to go away for real

Trying to be nice not to use the words Fcuk off instead

Wadever doesn't kill you make you stronger girl

I did gave chances and hint just that you doesn't seems to catch it

I love you

I really do

But I doesn't need a playful girl instead

Contact me when you decided to settle down

I'm door will always be open

For the meantime

Just keep this distance

It's hurtful when I heard you cry or sick

Yet on the other hand trying so hard not to do anything

Don't cry for guys anymore my dear

It's better to treat yourself well

Now I gave you a chance

To choose a guy that you think it's better for you

but nvr regret the decision you made

Someone who let you control and doesn't control you instead

Don't bother bout others

Just be happy okay

Guess that's Wat I wanna say for now since I forgot some stuff I wanna say

Goodnite ppl

I finished scribbling at;11:28 AM

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Currently over at Ahbee house

Shall update a little

But it might be too dry for ya

So please bear with me

Things i did ytd which is

Ton the whole night

As I went over to amk

To find cloud, carter and friends

This brother of mine

Using a simple reason of having a mth left to enjoy

To drag me out

How nice of him

Lan till 8 plus

Went over to bishan

Met Ahbee, jurist, Chervin, brandon and his girls

Ate and slack with

Before going Ahbee house for training

Injured all over

How nice

I finished scribbling at;1:53 AM

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